The Escape Hatch

Naysayers are an unpleasant, but necessary part of life and they come in all shapes and sizes. Without Naysayers we might do things that truly ARE unwise or dangerous to ourselves. Though they can be a completely unnecessary distraction, sometimes Naysayers are actually the Voices of Reason that we need in times of great indecision. Sometimes Naysayers are able to hold a mirror up to our deeds and allow us to see ourselves truly as we are. The trick is to navigate them and identify which ones can be useful to you and which ones can’t.

I would break them down into a few categories:

The Well Meaning Naysayers:
Well eaning Naysayers are people like your parents (if you have healthy relationship with them), who REALLY do care about your well being and the outcome of the risks you take - in fact its THEIR JOB to do so. These well meaning Naysayers can also be best friends, siblings, cousins, etc. Sometimes they can see things you can’t and may want to speak to you out of experience. I would remain open to their judgement, but don’t let it deter you if you feel you’ve done your homework, have passion for what you are about to embark upon and are resolute in charging ahead.

The Pessimists:
Pessimists aren’t shooting your ideas down just for fun. Pessimists just don’t believe anything good happens all that often or that dreams come true much. These aren’t bad guys, they just have a different world view. A frank conversation with a Pessimist every now and then can serve as devil’s advocate and help you determine what makes sense, sorting through what is and isn’t working about your various business ideas…so don’t shoo them away completely.

The Negative Ninnys:
These guys are more dangerous, but easy to spot! The Negative Ninnys are the people that shoot your ideas down or verbally sabotage your goals, dreams, aspirations just because they CAN. There may be many reasons behind this. Sometimes they are just unhappy themselves. Sometimes, they regret not having accomplished something they had hoped to and sometimes they just don’t want anyone to be happy. Whatever the reason — You have to BE VERY CAREFUL of these types. They can be disguised as a good friend, a colleague, etc. No matter what you share with them about your plans, they always seem to have something to say to rain on your parade. Don’t let them! Once you’ve identified the Negative Ninnys in your world you have a couple of choices…either don’t deal with them anymore or know who they are and take everything they say with a grain of salt. Be well prepared to counter every argument they put forth and eventually they’ll give up. Without the fuel of successfully deterring you, Negative Ninnys will realize in time that you are not an easy target and move on.

The Inner Naysayer:
And lastly, by far the most dangerous Naysayer - is the Inner Naysayer
The little voice inside you that is sure you’re on a date with doom. Like I wrote about in the last Escape Hatch entry “Finding the Why Behind the Lie”, you have to do your own inner searching to determine why fears arise and sort through whether those fears are justified or not. Only you can do this work and only you can counteract your Inner Naysayer by resolving the things that the Naysayer brings to light if you think they have validity. If you don’t believe the issues that the Inner Naysayer puts forth are valid then you simply have to learn that certain fears will arise again and again until you’ve somewhat mastered your own confidence about a certain idea or perceived shortcoming.

With a little practice over time you can learn to identify Naysayers and navigate them. Use the well meaning and pessimistic Naysayers as a litmus test for whether your ideas will fly. Avoid Negative Ninnys at all costs or stand up to them so that they understand your position and back down. Lastly, learn to listen to your Inner Naysayer and sift through what is truth, what can be modified, what is just an old fear rearing its head and what can be overcome. In no time you’ll be navigating clearly and relying on your own best judgement to get moving forward.

A new business idea or dream comes along - what’s the first thing that happens?

Signs appear - they might read something like this:

DANGER AHEAD
TURN BACK NOW
MEN WORKNG AHEAD - CONSTRUCTION

and what they are constructing are barriers — barriers to your dreams — barriers to your goals — barriers to the life that you really want to lead.

And after the warning signs appear, the little voice perks up - the inner naysayer — and he/she starts to sing in unison with the naysayers that already exist in your life and together they comprise a powerful and thunderous chorus — an almost unstoppable force.

What I want you to ask yourself today is this one little question:

why?

Why, when your dreams are so paramount in your mind do you allow the chorus of naysayers to drown them out?

We know some of the answers:

fear
mistrust
bad experiences
lack of confidence, etc.

And then your inner naysayer really gets going…he/she constructs the lies that will protect you by keeping you in your safe zone. The lies your inner naysayer tells you might sound something like this:

You’re not good enough
You’ve never done this
Others have tried and failed
Other people who have succeeded have so much more to offer than you do
You can’t do it
It will be just like that other time that (insert awful memory here) happened

you know the drill…they continue deep into the night.

But what I want you to begin doing today is to combat the lies in an attempt to discover the whys behind them. When a fear presents itself in the form of a lie, I want you to dissect the lie to see if there is any truth present at all. Really delve in and ask why this fear has crept up — ask yourself if your fear is justified - most of the time it won’t be… and even if it is try to find antidotes to it — ways of solving it — or fixing it. You might even be surprised by how many tools you have developed to circumvent problems that arise if you will just let yourself do it. For example if the fear is “I don’t know enough” delve into study mode and learn everything you can on the subject- BECOME THE EXPERT.

Try an experiment just for one week - don’t allow any of the lies your inner naysayer concocts to go unanswered - every lie that creeps up in your mind - jot it down and during the week do some inner investigation to see first if there is any truth to the lie — if so can it be fixed? Write a list of ways to combat the lie - don’t censor yourself - just write as many as you can think of, and then pick 3 to work on.

Here’s to finding the whys behind your lies and turning them into truth.

On this 4th of July we celebrate independence and for someone who wants to follow their own path what could be better?

Webster’s defines independent with the following descriptions:

Not subject to control by others - good.
Not affiliated with a larger controlling unit - good.
Not requiring or relying on something else - wait a minute.

It could be said that all people who embrace the entrepreneurial spirit celebrate independence every single day of their lives and its true that there can be nothing better if you’re in a situation that leaves you feeling lackluster or underutilized or suffering from a loss of passion. However, independence is NOT ALWAYS the only thing. Sometimes we need to lean on each other —

John Donne perhaps said it best: no man is an island

and so it would stand to reason then that entrepreneurs and all of us chasing our dreams and passions in life need to find the balance of independence. We all hope to be independent enough to choose our own destiny, make our own choices and set our own path, but not so independent that we don’t understand the great rewards that come from getting help when we need to or knowing when to bring in an expert when we aren’t the expert we need, or entering into a great partnership that will grow our business or open up a world of possibility that we hadn’t yet seen.

So, as you take part in this celebration which marks a very important day — perhaps the most important day in American history — remember that all things have a duality and embracing this duality is what can sometimes make us stronger.

Building your must fund part 2

So, you’ve decided to start building your must fund, but like most of us — you don’t have a pile of money just lying around to put towards your investment…here are some ideas of little ways you can curb your spending and put the savings immediately into your must fund. And make sure you set your must fund up in a higher yield interest bearing account such as ING Direct, or E-trade.

***Added bonus…something that benefits one part of your life will most often benefit other parts of your life…dual and exponential benefits are the icing on the cake or the little crumbles on top of the ice cream sundae — they make it extra special, you can use this handy key to see what other nice benefits await! These added benefits can include the environment, your relationships, your waistline, you soul…and so on it goes. Get out there are start benefiting your dream and the other areas of your life.

mf=must fund
r=relationships
s=soul
e=environment
w=waistline

We’ll start with one area of your life and as the blogs go by - we’ll add to these and explore others…if you have a great money saving must fund tip - please e-mail me and let me know…susan@escapehatcher.com

Transportation
#1 If possible walk/ride bike/car pool to work/store/classes, etc. you save gas money(and who doesn’t need that in times like these), the environment and gives you much needed exercise. Benefits: mf, e, w

#2 Park further away from store entrances — you save gas (by not circling looking for parking) and the aggravation of getting caught up in parking disputes.
Benefits: mf, e, w, s

#3 Don’t pay for valet parking — (if you don’t live in a major metropolitan area you’re laughing right about now, but for those of us in big cities this is a major fund nabber)…always leave a bit earlier so you have time to look for parking in neighborhoods (obviously if its a sketchy hood, this need not apply).
Benefits: mf, e, w

#4 Consider taking public transportation — subway or bus instead of driving. Benefits: mf, e, s (you get to know other people)

#5 In NYC take the subway over cab. Benefits: mf, e, s (again you get to meet and relate to other people you might not otherwise).

Next week…tips on banking/money